Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Beachy Keen

Today is grey, but not a wholly dark depressing grey. It has quite a light lovely chill behind a veiled dim blue.

Its really my favorite sort. The air is crisp and the earth seems devoid of human existence. If I had the day to myself I'd find myself on the beach. Feet dug in the sand and body wrapped in some sort of fabric. I could stare at the choppy waters for hours lost in thought, alone and at peace.

I'd smell the clean air, freeze my toes in the rushing water and most likely cry a little bit. I can't say for sure if it would be for sadness, realization, or a certain calmness. Perhaps all three.

My head would run from one subject to the next with a seamless glide. My creature heart would beam and I would be utterly transparent. As transparent as I get.

I already know all of the things that would cross my mind but I do not know what conclusions such a day could facilitate. There is so much on my mind.

Friday, October 4, 2013


I follow a few Witchy woman empowering sites on Facebook. While I tend to enjoy the things they post one came across my feed today stating "you should never touch anything with half of your heart" While I understand the metaphor wholly as a way of living ones life to the fullest, surrounding yourself with light, love, and avoiding negative people and situations.

  I appreciate these womanly empowering energy style posts. I am definitely a feminine creature though I tend to err on the side of masculine side of femininity. I understand the heart that women want to give out love freely, and in my youth I do so as well. I gave it away. WE are taught to do both. Give your love away and guard your heart. Which, like everything else on this planet, is utterly confusing.

  Yet some of us cannot touch everything with our whole heart. I cannot. If I  were to do so I would be a complete mess. Honestly half of my heart, is generous.

 I do give my whole heart to my family, my daughter and my joys in life. In giving my whole heart over I also give out power over me. While I still maintain control of my being and my emotions giving out my heart is giving a person or thing absolute power to hurt and devastate me. In loving someone so much, you hurt when they hurt. It seems simple, yet its so entirely complicated.
In realizing that how could you touch everything with your whole heart? I love so much. the people I live around love so much and so deeply. I don't know that I would wish that on them.

I can imagine how this could all seem very depressing, sad or empty. Yet the point is entirely opposite. The point is one of love and learning and realization. My heart is given fully out to those I love, Those I would do anything for.

I have so much love sometimes its overwhelming and sometimes I don't even understand.

So many things in this world are not deserving of your whole heart, and its up to each being to learn and decide what those truly are because in contrast so many things really are deserving. It can destroy people.  These posts tend to ask people to stray away from all negative aspects of life in order to shape the person you "are meant to be", almost to run from them. Yet I find the negative situations in life are the most shaping and if you do navigate the waters properly they can be the best shaping experiences.

Are people really that afraid to get dirty?