Novel hypothesis

Yesterday Hubs surprised me with a babysitter and a chance to escape the house. So we went and saw  The Hunger Games (not i didnt read the series, yes i intend to). It was good and actually kept my attention, which is quite a feat.
Now onto the point...

A touch of music therapy.

Weight loss

I have been a heavy girl for a long time, but I have only struggled with my weight for about a year now.

I know that may sound odd, a big girl who didn't care that she was big. I loved my body. My husband met and married me as a big woman. I rarely thought about it. In fact over the course of my lifetime many people (mostly insecure girls) tried to use my weight to insult me, to no avail. Like being heavy or fat was a surprise to me.

Now after a few years of stress, a pregnancy, and a c-section my body has changed. The  body I was used to is now misshapen and foreign to me. Right after I had the baby I weighed in at 245lbs, which was unreal.

Not only was I big, I felt big. I felt HUGE. Even that may be an understatement. I lived in yoga pants and stretch fabrics. I refused to go clothes shopping. Nothing i owned looked right. I have always wanted to present myself in a certain way. Even though that way may change from day to day it wasn't possible to achieve. Clothes on the rack looked odd and distorted on me. My perception and my reality were way off.
Its time for a change.

 I lost 20lbs on my own. Then got stuck. Its hard losing weight when you can't exercise. I'm 24 and some days my hips hurt so bad I can barely walk. That take a lot of exercise off the table, especially cardio. It seems like such a catch 22. I need to lose weight to take pressure of my hips and alleviate pain, but how am I supposed to lose weight if I can't exercise?

Weight watchers.

I felt a bit stupid joining weight watchers. I mean I know how to eat right and how to portion foods correctly, which is a lot of what weight watchers is, but i needed something. So i fell back on being a bit of a tightwad. I knew if I paid for it, I'd do it. I'd do it and have no excuses not to. It worked. Without exercise, Ive lost 10 pounds in 3 maybe 4 weeks. Thats not to shabby.

Total down: 30lbs

That makes me weigh in at 215.
 I dont have a concise goal.

For my height and build I am supposed to weigh in between 127-140. At my thinnest I weighed 150. My hope was to be healthier, and take as much weight as possible off my hips as I could. Beyond that Im not quite sure.

So I have created a wishlist. My weight loss wishlist. A list full of clothes that would fit my perception of my thinner self. I realize by the time I lose 70 more pounds alot of these clothes wont be for sale, but that doesnt matter. Its all about motivation.

Its all over the place but it works.

Sweet Sour

A new obsession

Schrödinger's Cat

This made my day.
Anyone? Buehler?

Blueberry sorbet

Homemade teething remedy and one of my favorites pictures of the little one.

HATE...

There are few things in life that I outright hate. A few songs, TV shows, and various social constructs top the list. Most of all there is a whole group of people who sit at the very tippity top...

I suck at being a housewife..

I really do.

Not for lack of trying, though.
Often I begin on the correct trajectory, then I find some excuse to veer into a different plane of thought.

I Often forget to switch the laundry( or it never gets folded). I forget to unload the dishwasher until i need a bottle. I forget to put leftovers away and other such absent mindedness.

I spend most nap times painting, knitting, crafting, and creating. I often have 3 or more projects going at once.
and I think every time "I am just going to do this one thing" annnnd then, all of the sudden, nap-time is over.

Somehow my house is reasonably clean, which is the best I can really hope for. My husband is more interested in letting me endlessly fiddle away with my projects than getting frustrated over a unorganized house. He often picks up the slack. I think he feels guilty that I dont have alot of adult interaction. Jokes on him... I dont like people. ^__^

By society's standards i must be a good mom, since i suffer from a lot of mom-guilt. Pacifiers, dispoables, formula... there is always somethings we can do better. Be more green. More Montessori. More everything. She is progressing, active, very alert, and very smart. I must be doing a few things right.

Good mom, Good wife, Bad housekeeper.

Awesome artist.

Life with pictures..

... Because everything is better with pictures. 

To start things off, I've been busy in a creative whirlwind of re-purposing, reusing, and creating.

Ive been trolling around instrucables.com and other various sites for inspiration. I found a link on crafting cardboard into useful artful things. 

Since we just moved I have an overabundance of cardboard boxes...

This is 3/4 finished. I substituted paper mache  for water color paper tape. Mostly because I am an impatient hermit. I took picture of the whole step by step process and I plan to publish my tutorial later on.

I've rescued an old tore up Gulliver's Travel book and re-purposed it. Before anyone chews me out for turning  antique literary brilliance into art, know that it was half destroyed to begin with.

Three 8 x 10 sets awaiting publishing in my upcoming store. I also have two 5 x 7 collages and an unfinished 11 x14 that I am currently too lazy to get up and take pictures of.

Melted Monkeys!

A craft stolen from pintrest.

Slow melted monkeys painted and sealed. I have 8 more barrels to melt :)

6 Months old!

A varied symphony of squeals, gurgles, and coos this child is!

I have one of "those babies". You know the ones. The ones who barely cry, put themselves to sleep and consistently plays quietly on the floor. I won the baby lotto she is awesome.  

 Monday we go to the hospital for an ultrasound. L has a mass at the base of her skull. Terrified doesnt begin to cover what I am feeling the the moment. Doctor is not worried but thats not saying much.

Various and random photos from the week...

rose of jericho

Blissfully unaware

Waiting on shots. Watching ourselves in the FaceTime camera on my iPhone.

Who am I?

Yesterday I bought two wicca books and a wholesale lot of "Barrel of monkeys" games. Story of my life.

 I never realized how randomly my mind worked until I gauged reactions of cashiers at various superstores.

"Is she buying lacy underwear AND hedge clippers?" Yes I was. Or something equally as ridiculous. It makes sense to me, the undies were cute and the hedge clippers were on sale.

For a long time I've fought with myself over accepting things... I'd attempt to force myself to accept things. For instance I tried to force myself into believing I was a housewife. I blogged about it. In all honesty I hate the word. i'm more of a creative hermit.

People don't accept that. "Oh, you dont work?" Fuck off.

 I suppose I may be labeled as a SAHM (stay at home mom) or a housewife for a bit longer. In reality, I bet I do more than most. On top of menial household tasks and being a mom, I create. I draw, craft, and create different things. I buy and sell on eBay and use other facets of my resourcefulness. Last week I started, finished, or worked on  7 different projects. That doesn't include the ones that failed.

I cook, clean, care for the dogs, teach my daughter sign language, I (try to) keep up with most social media and friends, I pay the bills and balance the budget, I do 80% of baby care/play, I make my own baby food, and on top of all of the 'normal' things i still manage to make things. Awesome things.

I have finally accepted myself as an artist. I am a good mom with a foul mouth. I actively strive for balance. I don't pin myself down with any one spirituality. I am a wife (with an infinitely understanding husband). I am a bit of a hermit.

Who we are is always changing. Millions of sparkling facets define us. I suppose some gems sparkle a bit brighter.